Disclaimer: I don't own Fake.
The rest of the day after Aaron left was one of the worst Dee could remember. He was in a foul mood and despite his promise not to get into any trouble, he couldn’t help but act out in Mr. Martin’s class. It galled him that this teacher was the cause of Aaron’s expulsion. He couldn’t simply sit back and pretend like nothing had happened, but his smart-ass comments during class cost him eight licks in front of all his peers. This did not improve his mood, and he received more strikes from the paddle in several other classes because of his belligerence.
That evening he had wanted nothing more than to curl up in Ryo’s waiting arms and forget all his problems, but his temper wouldn’t subside and the two boys ended up arguing. Dee had been pacing in Ryo’s room, his arms crossed, completely pissed-off at the day’s events, and Ryo tried in vain to calm him.
“Dee, please, why don’t you sit down and try to relax?” asked the blonde, worried about his lover’s agitated state.
“I can’t relax, damn it!” he almost yelled, but he sighed and sat down on the bed next to the other boy. Ryo watched him wince as he sat, the boy’s bruised backside protesting against the pressure. Immediately, the blonde reached a hand out to rub the dark-haired boy’s back, trying to put his mind at ease.
“I know you’re angry, but it’s not going to help matters just to get yourself into trouble and piss off the teachers,” Ryo told him. He was worried that Dee would continue with his defiant behavior in class and have a perpetually sore bottom, or else eventually get himself expelled despite his promise. He didn’t know what he would do if Dee left him. Even though Ryo realized he didn’t know Dee as well as he might have wished, he still couldn’t imagine being without him.
But his words, fueled by concern, did nothing to quell Dee’s anger.
“What am I supposed to do?” Dee asked bitterly. “I can’t stand it, Ryo!” he said in agonized tones. “I’ve known Aaron forever and I’ve always protected him… now I failed him!” he spat out, burying his face in his hands.
The blonde continued to rub his back in soothing circles, unsure of what to say. Dee’s connection with Aaron was a source of jealousy for Ryo, even though he knew it shouldn’t be, even though he knew Dee was in love with him and never thought of Aaron in that way. It didn’t matter. He still couldn’t control the twinge of pain in his heart when his lover spoke of wanting to protect the other boy so vehemently. Surely that spoke of a connection between them? Try as he might to ignore it, Ryo knew that there was something special about the fact that the two boys had grown up together. It was an experience he could never share with the dark-haired boy. He’d never know what his childhood was like and he wished now more than ever that Dee would at least tell him about it. Again it ate at him that his lover seemed unwilling to divulge his past.
But Ryo tried to swallow all this down. Dee needed him right now for support, not judgment or jealousy.
“I’ve got to find out what really happened,” said the dark-haired boy with conviction. “I know Aaron wasn’t telling me everything,” he said looking over at Ryo, who nodded in agreement. “You think so too?” he asked.
The blonde sighed. “Yeah, he just… I don’t know how to put it, but he seemed afraid that some secret would be discovered if he tried to fight the accusations against him,” he paused. “I can relate,” he said softly.
Dee watched the boy’s head hang and some of his anger drifted away. Aaron wasn’t the only person he wanted to protect.
“Ryo,” he spoke in a quiet tone, lifting his chin so the boy’s onyx eyes were forced to meet his own. “No one’s going to find out about your heritage, but even if they did, I don’t think it would be as bad as you imagine,” he told him.
The other boy wanted to believe him, but he’d been through too much to think the middle-class American boys at this school would overlook the Japanese blood in his veins. However, for Dee’s sake, he simply nodded in agreement.
He wondered now if things with Aaron really were better left unexplored. If his hunch was right, then perhaps it would do more harm than good to dig deeper into the matter.
“Maybe you should just let the matter with Aaron go,” Ryo said quietly.
Suddenly the boy was on his feet, swatting away the blonde’s hand. “How can you say that?! “
“Dee…” Ryo whispered, surprised by the strength of the boy’s reaction and more than a little hurt by it. “I just mean, maybe he’ll be happy to be home and, well… I’ve been to public schools. They aren’t all that bad,” he said, trying to explain himself.
However, Dee only became more incensed. “You don’t get it Ryo!” he shouted at him. “Aaron doesn’t have any family to return to! He’s an orphan—like me!” he yelled, pressing his hand to his chest.
For a moment Ryo simply stared up at him in surprise. Why hadn’t Dee told him this? Moreover, it struck him hard that Dee had used the phrase ‘like me,’ as if Ryo didn’t know what it was like to grow up without any parents. His heart ached that the dark-haired boy seemed to be excluding him from his experiences, that somehow they couldn’t possibly be the same because of the difference in their backgrounds. He swallowed, fighting the lump forming in his throat.
“I didn’t know. You never said anything, Dee,” he replied softly, his wavering voice betraying his pain.
Dee saw the look of hurt cross the other boy’s face and cursed at himself. He’d meant to tell Ryo more about himself. At first he didn’t want to minimize the blonde’s painful past by bringing up his own and later… well, later he’d just forgotten. Now he was frustrated at himself and this only fueled his anger further.
“Only two kids every year get a scholarship here from our orphanage and if you get kicked out, well, that’s it, Ryo—no second chances!” he said bitterly.
“But-“ Ryo began, still trying convince the other boy that everything would be alright.
Dee cut him off, with a dismissive wave of his hand. His emotions were worn thin by the events over the past 24 hours. The juxtaposition of his first blissful night with Ryo against Aaron’s sudden and inexplicable expulsion was just too much. Now the blonde’s persistently optimistic views were just about the last thing the dark-haired boy wanted to hear. What he needed was validation of the seriousness and injustice of the situation, and he grew angry at the fact that his new lover didn’t seem to understand him. He was even more irritated with himself for taking this out on Ryo when the boy was really only trying his best to help.
Suddenly, Dee felt unworthy of Ryo’s affections. He was never good at dealing with his anger and he knew he was taking it out on the blonde, but he couldn’t seem to rein himself in. When the boy whispered his name and reached for him, Dee turned away.
“I don’t want your pity!” he said in a seething tone.
“Dee, that’s not-!” Ryo started, but the dark-haired boy had already walked out the door.
Ryo was crushed.
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