2 Years Later…

“Li-han!  Where has he gotten to now?” Yuki grumbled.

The young man was exasperated. He’d spent the better part of the morning running around the farm in search of the other boy without success.

Why had the insufferable young man chosen to wander off on today of all days?  Yuki had a sneaking suspicion that Li-han was deliberately hiding just to rankle him.  Damn it, Yuki thought, isn’t he a little old for these pranks?

Although Li-han had always been spirited and enjoyed making mischief, he had become increasingly intolerable since he had come of age the year before.  When the boy was younger, Yuki had endured his capricious behavior.  After all, the boy had no family and when he had stumbled into the village as a lost, forlorn child years ago, half the town shunned him as an outsider.  Li-han had brilliant, hay-colored hair that most people in the village had never seen before and his foreignness unsettled and frightened them.  But Yuki had not been afraid of him.  All he had seen was a child—only a few years younger than himself—that needed his help.  Perhaps he had also sympathized with him because his own looks were also rather unusual.  Yuki’s uncle, a stern yet kind-hearted man, had not hesitated to take Li-han in when he appeared with his nephew on their doorstep.

Up until then, Yuki had been an only child, and he had always longed for a sibling.  He was quick to take Li-han under his wing, but dealing with the boy wasn’t always easy.  When the blonde boy first came to live with him, he was sullen and skittish.  The Li-han followed his every step and clung to him incessantly, so that Yuki often felt as if he had a permanent shadow dogging his steps.  Li-han couldn’t help it, Yuki was his only friend, and he remembered almost nothing before he met him.  As the years went by, Li-han grew more accepted within the village and he began to venture out on his own.  Yuki was relieved at first, but Li-han soon grew a reputation as a troublemaker and prankster. The bond between the two boys was strong, but Li-han often tried the other boy’s patience.

 An entirely new set of problems had begun after the blonde-haired boy reached the age of so-called ‘maturity’.  Yuki used the term loosely when referring to Li-han. The young man showed no signs of growing any sense of responsibility, although his body had grown into that of a man’s quickly enough. The last two years had been crucial ones for the young boy, whose puberty had hit him like a sudden storm.  His frame was now as broad as Yuki’s and more muscular, and his height had surpassed him. Every day, Yuki became more and more frustrated with the boy’s seemingly endless growth.  Moreover, Li-han constantly taunted him about his smaller stature and purposefully provoked the older boy into wrestling matches that Yuki was almost certain to lose. Yuki knew Li-han was boisterous by nature, but there seemed to be something else behind his teasing, an insecurity that he hadn’t shared even with his surrogate sibling. Most infuriating, however, were the thinly veiled sexual innuendos Li-han was recently fond of making.  The teasing, lewd remarks caught Yuki off-guard and sometimes found himself blushing when he should have been offended.  Oddly enough, the dark-haired young man now found himself somewhat nostalgic for the days when Li-han trailed after him so obediently, but such times were long behind him.

“Li-han!” Yuki called again as he made his way through the barn door.  “Damn it!  Where are y-“

The young man’s words were cut off abruptly as Yuki was sent hurtling backwards, falling onto his back with a heavy thud! that knocked the wind from his lungs.  Above him he felt a weight settle over his body, holding him down. Blinking up, Yuki scowled at the grinning youth astride his waist.

“You’re losing your touch, Yu-shi.”

Yuki did not appear amused by Li-han’s antics.  ‘Shi’ was a suffix reserved for addressing a female lover.

“Get off me, Li-han!” the dark-haired young man shouted, bucking his hips until the other boy lost his balance and tipped to the side.

Sitting up, Yuki shoved the chuckling blonde roughly.  “You enjoy torturing me, don’t you?”

“You have to ask?” Li-han replied with a snicker.

“I don’t understand you sometimes,” Yuki said, shaking his head and looking sullen.  “You know how much I look forward to the Spring Festival, but you still have to make trouble so we’ll be late to the town meeting.  And you know Uncle will blame me if we miss it!”

“The Festival?” Li-han asked, confused.  “It’s today?”

Yuki stood and glared down at the other boy.  “As if you didn’t know,” he said severely.

“I’d forgotten,” the blonde replied, his tone genuine and apologetic.

But Yuki was too irritated to forgive him just yet.  He gave a ‘hmph’ and crossed his arms.  “Well now that you know, get yourself ready!  We’re late as it is,” he said, walking toward the door.

“Why is the Spring Festival so important to you?” Li-han asked, his voice soft, almost sad.

Yuki stopped.

“It’s important to everyone.  It’s the start of the fertile season,” he replied evasively.

Li-han paused, uncharacteristically thoughtful, then said, “No, it’s different for you.  It’s the Festival itself that’s special to you.  Why?”

Even with his back to him, Yuki could feel Li-han dark eyes boring between his shoulder blades and he was troubled by the blonde’s shrewd guesses.  It was always that way with the unusual young man.  Just when Yuki thought he was completely oblivious to everyone else around him and totally carefree, Li-han would make some small comment that revealed a quick-witted and subtle understanding behind his rich brown eyes.

“Get changed,” Yuki said, choosing not to answer, “I’m leaving by mid-morning with or without you.”

***

“Yuki!  Over here!”  called a voice through the crowd.  The dark-haired young man saw a hand waving enthusiastically above the heads of the other townspeople and hurried forward.

“Sanki!  Did I miss much yet?” Yuki asked, embracing his brown-haired friend.

“Well, you missed your Uncle’s face growing purple when you still weren’t here for the flower-trimming.”

Yuki groaned.  “Where is he?”

“Over there,” Sanki said pointing to the opposite side of the packed village square, “by the lichi apple vendors.”

Poking his head up, Yuki searched the crowd and caught sight of the older man, his face twisted into a sour frown. He quickly ducked back down.  He didn’t feel like facing him just yet.

“Oh, hello Li-han,” Sanki said, finally acknowledging the other young man’s presence.

The blonde ignored his greeting and Yuki punched him in the arm.  “Remember your manners!” he scolded.

“I almost forgot!” Sanki said suddenly, “You missed the lantern assignments.”

Yuki’s eyes went wide in dismay.  “What?”

His friend laughed at the other boy’s extreme reaction to such a small matter.  “Don’t worry.  I told the Council you would go upriver as usual.  Do you really think anyone else would do it when you’ve volunteered for the past five years?”

Feeling foolish, Yuki flushed in embarrassment and Sanki poked his cheek teasingly.  “Look how easily you blush!” he chuckled.

Li-han smacked his hand away.  “Leave him alone.  He doesn’t need your taunting.”

“You’re one to talk!” Sanki spat back.  “I don’t even have to ask why Yuki was late, it was obviously your fault.  Don’t you ever think of anyone but yourself?”

“I forgot the meeting, so what?”

“That not much of an excuse!” Sanki replied with a snort.

“What do you care?” Li-han retorted, glaring. “You-“

“Let it go, Li-han.  It was your fault after all, you know,” Yuki said reproachfully, interrupting the other boy.

“But-“

“I said let it go.”

Although Yuki knew Sanki was being a bit rough on his surrogate sibling, the dark-haired boy was tired of mediating the fights between the two of them and wanted Li-han to learn to take responsibility for himself.

However, Li-han was angered and hurt that Yuki had rebuked him when the other boy was obviously being unfair to him and he stalked off in a huff.

“He’s as pleasant as ever,” Sanki comment sarcastically.

“I wish you wouldn’t argue with him,” Yuki said.

“It’s his own fault,” his friend replied, feeling disgruntled.  Soon the energy of the festivities surrounded them, however, and the young men forgot their disagreement.

As he walked away, Li-han berated himself for letting Sanki get the better of him.  Hadn’t he promised himself that he would remain civil with the older boy, for Yuki’s sake? When the irritating brown-haired young man started baiting him, however, Li-han couldn’t help but argue with him.  Even if Sanki did have a point, he resented the condescending attitude the boy always took towards him.  He didn’t understand Yuki’s friendship with him and he resented their closeness.  Ever since he’d been a child, Li-han had wanted Yuki to himself, but his possessiveness was never well-tolerated.

“You made him late,” Yuki’s uncle, Matsue said knowingly when the young man stepped up beside him at the edge of the crowded square.

Li-han shrugged his shoulders, sulked a bit, but said nothing in reply. He could feel the older man’s anger, but Matsue said nothing.  His silence was almost worse than his lecturing.  Li-han knew what wasn’t being said—that he was a man now, that he was supposed to know better.   The blonde was aware of all this, but it wasn’t that he wasn’t trying, it was that his mind was occupied elsewhere.

The day had barely begun and already things were not working out the way Li-han had hoped, but tonight was the Spring Festival, the time of renewal.  If there was any time for his luck to change, it was this night.

By the time Yuki made his way over to his Uncle, Li-han had left on his own.

“Well?” the young man said, certain his guardian was going to verbally pummel him for his tardiness.

“Well, what?”

“Aren’t you upset with me?”

The older man gave his nephew a sly look.  “I am not completely unreasonable you know.  I know how Li-han can be.  He’s a man now. You needn’t coddle him.  You should have left him and come on your own.”

Yuki shifted uneasily.  “I can’t help it,” he said, “I still feel responsible for him.  Even if the Elders declared him an adult, he doesn’t seem like one to me.”

Matsue chuckled.  “I might have said the same thing about you a few years ago.  That’s just how these things go, Yuki.  If you keep taking responsibility for him, he’ll never learn.”

“I suppose you’re right, as usual,” the young man said, ruefully.

“Well, then, listen to an old man and stop hovering around here and go enjoy yourself!” Matsue said, patting his nephew on the back.

“Thanks, Uncle!”

Yuki embraced the older man who he had come to think of as his father and ran off to join his friends, who were already clustered around the market vendors and stuffing themselves with sweet melons and other seasonal delicacies.

It was approaching evening by the time Yuki saw Li-han again.  At first, the dark-haired young man was happy to have some time alone with his friends.  If Li-han wanted to sulk, let him.  Yuki would enjoy the Festival.  But as time went on, he began to look for him in the crowd, or glance over his shoulder expecting to see him there.  He swore he could feel the blonde’s eyes him.  Yet every time Yuki looked, the other young man was nowhere to be seen.  Though he didn’t wish to admit it, he missed Li-han’s presence. More than once found himself wanting to share something with him, but unable to do so.

It wasn’t until Yuki excused himself from his friends and left to tend to the fire cricket lanterns that Li-han appeared.  The blonde’s sudden emergence from the shadows surrounding the riverbank gave the young man a start.

“What are you doing lurking over there?” Yuki asked sharply.  He didn’t like being taken by surprise, and Li-han’s appearance had reminded him of a similar meeting years ago the night Onmoyo had taken him in the Spring Rites.  The memory was strong in his mind as Li-han walked over to him, and Yuki felt his body flush with heat at the recollection.  Now self-conscious, Yuki kept his eyes fixed on the lantern in his hands as he spoke, “Well?  What are you doing out here?”

When Li-han remained silent, the dark-haired young man began to fidget. He became oddly nervous, his heart racing.  Why didn’t Li-han answer him?  Why was he looking at him with those intense, heavy-lidded eyes?

Perhaps it was the memory of this place, the smell of the grass in the air, the flicker of the lanterns—everything reminded him of the Rites and seemed laced with the erotic energy he had experienced that night two years before.

“I was looking for you,” Li-han said at last, but his voice did not sound like the boy Yuki knew.  This voice was deeper, richer and filled with something the dark-haired young man couldn’t name—or wasn’t prepared to.

“Well, you found me, didn’t you?  Where were you all day, anyway?”  Yuki asked, still avoiding the other’s steady gaze.

“I was around,” the blonde said vaguely, then paused.  His dark eyes turned away and gazed toward the failing light in the west.  The young man looked as if he had something he wanted to say, but couldn’t quite force it past his lips.

“I’m almost done here, why don’t you go back to the square.  I’ll be there soon,” said Yuki, hoping Li-han would leave him so he could collect his thoughts.

“What if you don’t come back?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I’ll be back!” Yuki asked, growing flustered.  Why wouldn’t he leave him be?

“You didn’t come back two years ago…”

Yuki’s head snapped up to attention.

“You didn’t come back until after sunrise,” Li-han said quietly, almost accusingly.

“I—I explained all that!” he said defensively, “I feel asleep by the river.”

“Did you?”

Yuki’s brow drew together in anxious worry, and his blood pounded in his ears.  Ever since that night he’d harbored the anxiety that someday, someone would discover he’d taken part in the Rites and the thought disturbed him.  The Spring Rites had been one of the most intimate moments in his life and Yuki kept it close to his heart, a secret between him and those who had participated.  If anyone found out, the young man would feel somehow violated and exposed.  He wondered why Li-han was bringing this up now.  What guesses had the blonde already made and what did he know for sure?

“Nevermind,” Li-han said suddenly.  “I’ll see you back in the village.”

He turned and left, melting back into the deepening night and leaving Yuki shaken and unnerved.

When Yuki returned to the village, Li-han was waiting near Sanki and several of their mutual friends.  The group of young men was lively and loud.  It was the time of night when then the Festival hit its peak, with the adults indulging in lichi cider and the children running about chasing crickets in the grass. The strange, serious mood that had gripped Li-han had lifted and he was laughing with the others.

Relieved, Yuki joined them.  It looked as if the rest of the evening would pass in pleasant amusement.

The group wandered about the village, walking down the lanes lit by the softly glowing lanterns and visiting a few of the vendors still bartering their wares.  A few of the young men (Li-han among them) were able to acquire some of the potent fermented wine that the elders usually reserved for themselves. Eager to sample their ill-gotten goods, the group settled themselves on a long stretch of soft grass between the village square and the river.

It didn’t take long for most of the boys to become inebriated and they laughed and joked boisterously about the events of the past year and speculated on the summer days to come.  Yuki, as usual, did not partake of the wine, or at least he took very little.  He wasn’t fond of fermented drinks or the way they fogged his mind.  Also, he was one of only a few of his friends who was already a ‘man’ and felt it his duty to stay somber and look after the others.  He watched them talking merrily and smiled.

“Did anyone get their fortune read today?” one of the younger boys piped up, after taking a long draught of the liquor.

“Who cares?  You don’t really believe in that stuff, do you Nazuki?” Sanki asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Sure, why not? Last spring Onmoyo told my brother he should prepare for an extra guest in the house and his wife had her first child that winter! What do you think of that?”

But Sanki was not convinced and some of the other boys expressed a similar skepticism.  Many of them had respect for Onmoyo, but it wasn’t popular to talk about having faith in the old rituals when among the other boys.  “Fortunes are for little kids and old men!” the brunette said with a dismissive wave of the hand.

Dejected by the older boy’s words, Nazuki hung his head.

“Have you ever gone to see Onmoyo, Sanki?” Li-han interjected.

“Obviously not!” he retorted.

“Then you have no basis for talking about the validity of Onmoyo’s predictions, do you?”

“T-that has nothing to do with it!” the brunette said, annoyed and too inebriated to make an argument against Li-han’s logic.

“Sure it does.  If you have never gone yourself, you can’t say with any certainty whether or not the fortunes are actually accurate.”

Sanki scowled at his opponent.  He hated when Li-han talked circles around him like this, especially when his mind was too addled by alcohol to defend himself.  Even after drinking, Li-han somehow kept his wits and it annoyed him.

“I told you, it’s just superstitious nonsense!  Anyone who goes to see Onmoyo is wasting his time.”

“Is that so?” Li-han said slowly.  “Yuki went to see him today.”

Sanki spin around to face his friend, asking “You did?”

“I… well, sort of…” Yuki stammered, looking unsettled.

“You look pale. Are you ok?” Sanki asked, worried.

“What was it like?” one boy asked, jumping in. “What did he say?” pressed another.

“Oh, it was nothing, really. Just something about a good harvest,” Yuki replied.

The others looked disappointed.  They had hoped Yuki would help settle the argument, but apparently he had nothing interesting to contribute.

“I—I think this is empty,” Yuki said, standing abruptly and holding up one of the wine skins.  “I’ll go raid my Uncle’s cellar.  I’ll be right back.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you,” Sanki offered, starting to rise.

“No, stay here.  I won’t be long,” the dark-haired boy said, rushing off.

“But-“

It was no good, Yuki was already halfway across the field and Sanki was in no shape to go running after him.  He plopped back down with a melodramatic sigh and failed to notice when Li-han slipped away to follow Yuki into the tall grasses.

Yuki took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.  The night air was cool and crisp and helped to clear his head, but his mind was still spinning.  So he was right in his suspicions, Li-han had been watching him that afternoon.  As he strode over the fields, Yuki was glad to have some distance between him and the crowd so he could think.  How much had the blonde seen?

It was the worst timing Yuki could imagine. He hadn’t even planned on seeing Onmoyo that day, but a shortcut through a narrow alley had brought them together.   The Seer had been on his way to the public well for the annual Water Blessing, and by chance or fate they had come together on the narrow path.  They had seen each other seldom since the night of the Rites and Yuki preferred it that way.  It was easier on him.

Onmoyo had smiled warmly at him and asked after his Uncle.  Then, unexpectedly, he had moved forward, leaning in close to him.  “Do you remember what I told you that night?”  Yuki was too flustered to answer and in any case, he wasn’t given the chance.  The Seer did something then that he had not done in two years… he kissed him.

It was a short kiss, a brief brush of his lips, but it left Yuki sad and yearning.  It wasn’t so much that he missed Onmoyo, but he missed the intimacy they had shared and deeply longed for someone to hold him and nurture that spark of sexual delight he had experienced then.  “Remember,” the Seer repeated in a soft whisper before slipping by him and leaving the young man to lean back onto of one of the wooden buildings for support.

Yuki hadn’t had time to consider Onmoyo’s reminder, but as he approached the farmhouse he pondered the Seer’s words.  What was it he wanted him to remember?  So much of the evening was a vague haze of desire and pleasure, it was difficult to recall anything specific.  No, that wasn’t entirely true. There was one thing he recalled clearly…

‘There is someone else meant for you, Yuki.’

Yes, those words had remained in his mind, embedded strongly and sharply in his memory.  But it had been two years and Yuki was still alone.  Why would Onmoyo remind him of this?  Was he teasing him?

As Yuki stepped down into the chilly cellar, he shook his head. There were too many questions.  It was making him aggravated and his head was starting to ache. The young man decided that whatever the Seer was trying to tell him could wait until the morning.  Pushing aside his heavy thoughts, Yuki concentrated on finding the vat of cider his Uncle kept hidden away on one of the top shelves in the cellar.

His mind was distracted, however, and as he stretched up to grope the back of the shelf, he lost his balance and stumbled backward.

Rather than crashing into the sacks of grain behind him, however, he was caught by two strong arms from behind.

“Good thing I came after you,” a smooth voice said in his ear.

Looking back, Yuki saw Li-han’s grinning face over his shoulder.

“Let me get that for you,” the blonde offered, ignoring the other young man’s scathing glare.

Without moving, Li-han reached easily over Yuki’s head and plucked the small vat from the shelf.  In the cramped space, the blonde’s firm body pressed against from behind, eliciting an unwelcome response from Yuki’s body.

“I didn’t ask for your help!”  the dark-haired young man said in a taut voice, pushing the other boy away.  He moved to step back up the cellar stairs, hoping to put some space between them.

Li-han, however, stood between him and escape and he wasn’t moving.  Setting the vat down near the steps, he crossed his arms and planted his feet stubbornly.

“I’m a little tired of your games, Li-han.  Let me by.”

The blonde’s eyes narrowed.  “I’ll let you go if you tell me what Onmoyo said to you today.”

The young man’s domineering attitude did not sit well with Yuki.  Even if Li-han had grown taller than him, he was still above him in age and the younger man should treat him with respect.

“That’s between me and him!” Yuki said, bristling.

Within the space of a breath, the dark-haired young man found himself pushed against the far wall of the cellar, Li-han’s body pinning him with its hard, solid weight.

Yuki was dismayed to find he could not break free, no matter how he struggled.  His heart began to beat wildly in light of his helplessness.  For years now, Yuki had convinced himself that he was holding back with Li-han and that when he really wished to, he could overpower him.  Now he realized it had been the other way around.  Li-han had been the one holding back, and his true strength was frightening.

“Why won’t you tell me?  We used to talk about everything!  Just what is it between you two?”

“What’s gotten into you, Li-han?” Yuki said, startled. Though the blonde could sometimes be possessive, that was very different from the burning jealousy he saw in his eyes now.   Bewildered, Yuki watched Li-han fight to rein in his emotions, but it was too late.  Li-han’s jealousy had torn his restraint and he could no longer hold back.

“Yuki,” he whispered.

“What… what are you doing?” Yuki asked, holding in a gasp as the other young man undulated his hips against him in a decidedly indecent and provocative gesture.

“I’m giving you what you want,” came Li-han’s heated reply.

“S-stop it! Don’t do this,” Yuki said, his jaw clenched in tension.  This was far worse than the other times when the younger man had taunted him.   Li-han seemed in earnest now and for reasons Yuki couldn’t explain, he was responding to the blonde’s demands.  It was all wrong.  This wasn’t how he thought of Li-han. It wasn’t how he was supposed to think of him.  They were practically brothers, weren’t they?

Li-han’s eyes took on a seductive glow as Yuki struggled against him.  He bent his head and let his mouth hover over Yuki’s.

“Why are you fighting me?  I know you’ve been taken before.”

Yuki’s body went rigid at these words, his eyes wide.  He was shocked to learn that someone else had this intimate knowledge of his past and offended that Li-han was trying to use his secret against him.

With the blonde intent on capturing the other boy’s mouth, he let his grip loosen and immediately Yuki took advantage of the opportunity to slip free.

With a quick whip of his hand, the dark-haired young man slapped Li-han hard across the face.

Holding a hand to his burning cheek, Li-han stood in stunned silence as Yuki grabbed the cider, spun around, and hastened up the stairs and out the door.

Cursing under his breath, Li-han followed after him, close on his heels.